Like any new group, it takes a while to get to know one another. So how did we do that? Each member of the group told their “call” story; a little about their life and how they found Jesus. Where they are “at” today. And what have been times of pain and disappointment in our lives – and the joys as well. This, of course, took time. But time well spent.
What was our purpose in getting together? To listen. To listen to each other -- but most importantly to listen for God; what God might have to say to us. We talked. We listened. We prayed. We sang songs (one of the guys had a guitar!). Interestingly, our ages ran from 30 to 70s – meaning that each one of us had our own decade: 30s, 40s, 50s. 60s, and 70s. But no one heard anything.
At the same time, we all were worried about the church – her future, declining attendance, missing generations, etc. We all were church leaders, activists for Jesus, and used to getting things done. Still, we listened -- and heard nothing! God, what is going on? Speak to us, where are you? Can’t you hear us, those who faithfully serve you! (a lament psalm in making?). But God was still silent. And I, for one, agonized about it.
Finally, we all headed for bed around 10 p.m. that night (I was tired!). But I couldn’t get to sleep. I kept on waking up. Now what is it God? Then I began to hear in my head a praise song that was on my ipod: “The Name of the Lord Be Praised.” Again, and again. “The name of the Lord be praise-ed! Right now!” I couldn’t sleep. I tossed and turned and finally got up about 4 a.m. and had some “coffee-time with Jesus” (my morning prayer).
I sat in the beautiful chapel at Sinsinawa and saw the sun rise and penetrate the multicolored mosaic windows that surrounded it. It seemed that no one else in the building was awake yet. “The name of the Lord be praised…” Then God’s Word came to me. Silently sitting there as a new day dawned, God spoke, “It’s okay. It’s enough.”
What do you mean, God, “it’s okay?” There’s so much work to do to save our churches, make disciples for your Son. And those people in our congregations who don’t seem to get it! Don’t tell me, it’s okay, God! And, by the way, how could we be enough? We are broken men, sinners, strugglers, egotists, and a heck of a lot worse. How could we be enough?
As I sat there arguing with God I realized that it is OKAY! And the other thing I realized is that we ARE enough! Our job as Jesus’ disciples is to tend the garden, God will provide seed and water. We are not God because YOU ARE GOD and you will do what needs to be done. While you love and continue to call us we are not to be supermen for Jesus, but simply faithful workers in the garden.
Whew! It was such a blessing to receive this as we approach the Day of Pentecost; that day when a bunch of broken God-followers were sitting there waiting for Jesus and nearly got their socks blown off! I bet they thought it wasn’t okay (where in the heck was Jesus and why did he leave us here alone). Swooosh, bang, fire! God said, I will fill you up, love you to pieces, give you strength during the adversities to come, teach you, put the Word in your mouth, and all this will come from the “swoosh-bang-fire” Helper – God’s Spirit. It’s not up to you, it’s up to me – it’s okay, you’re enough -- do you believe this?”
I had to leave early to get back home and oversee Sabine’s dialysis. I haven’t talked to my brothers on that retreat yet as to what they heard. But I got so excited on the way home, I texted them the following message. “A Word: It’s okay; it’s enough!” I am anxious to hear what they heard on that high sacred mound; a mound in which eagles frequently fly…
Yes, Lord, I believe you are the One, the One in the world, the One who knows it’s okay and that we are enough! AMEN
