A popular television psychologist recently remarked, "You never get over being a parent!" It is so true. Our adult childhood may be out of sight, but never out of mind. And when a bad thing happen to one of my children (by either accident or intention) it triggers a flood of emotions ranging from "if I had only been a better parent" to "this is beyond my control and there is nothing I can do" to a more steadying --"I feel a great sadness; a sadness not easily avoided."
These feelings for me are best put into poetry as I emotionally recon the terrian and get my bearings as to when the "child" is, where I am, and, most importantly, where God is in this...
the sadness
a reluctant companion
a child’s
hopes and dreams
scattered again
waveringly i
reach for
God's hand
i sense his presence
yet also another sense
a coldness
not close
but
hovering nearby
waiting
it is
death
its challenge
conclusion and
ending
it floats like
an angry
mist
waiting
watching while
tears
inside of me
taste bitter
and
growl around
in my
nervous stomach
my voice
cracking
oh God
oh God.
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