Stages in a Man's Life

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Now in my 80th year, I have decided to slow things down in my life. I have done this to help my soul to continue to grow and not wither. We live in hectic, unsettling times and I think of the Hindu tradition of the four stages of a man's life. These four stages are discussed in ancient and medieval era Indian texts: Student (Brahmacharya), Householder (Grihastha), Retired (Vanaprasthaand), and Renunciate (Sannyasa).

I have not fully entered retirement but are close. I think about my Christian traditions of monastic and other forms of renouncing this temporal world. While I, at the same time, know the importance of social action and the pursuit of justice.

Would I be able to do Sannyasa? To be a homeless wanderer dependent upon others to fill my begging bowl? Scary!

But last week I did take some measures of renunciation:  I have signed off my Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn accounts and disengaged from being the police reformer who lectures, writes books and maintains an active blog called "Improving Police."

 This has caused me to experience a distinct feeling of a great weight being taken off my shoulders.

At the same time, I have been thinking about how quickly the last 10 years of my life have gone by and Sabine's illness. It was 10 years ago that she was diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma and kidney failure.  In response, we elected to do home hemodialysis. It turned out to be a blessing for both of us as it has given us flexibility and, I believe, extended her "expiration date."

To be able to focus on things more spiritual is for me to wean away from the daily news cycle.  Since January, I stopped watching Morning Joe on MSNBC because it caused me to get riled up for the remainder of the day. The same for network and internet news. I am now attempting to go "cold turkey” from the daily news. I have to admit that watching the unacceptable public behavior of our President is one of the primary reasons.

With the time I have left in this world I choose no longer to be the police reformer. I have argued my case. It’s now time to begin another phase in my life. In it, social justice will continue to play a vital role.

I intend to focus on a less-developed part of my life – poetry and add to what I have written in the past (The Sabine Poems: Story of a Courtship, Segments, and Restoration Point).

I will continue my duties as pastor to St. Peter’s Church in North Lake as long as I able. Our relationships there over the past 12 years have also contributed to Sabine's spiritual and physical health. Of that I am sure.

The remaining portion of my life will continue to be served as a caregiver for my absolute best friend; a woman who has blessed and helped me to grow in so many ways and to write more poetry and to pursue Sannyasa as best I can.

We press on.