GodSpirit
Join this discussion with David. He brings to the spirituality table wisdom and experience as a husband, father, veteran, police officer, clergyman, author and poet. He has experienced success as well as loss and grief in his life as he has struggled with his wife's cancer, a child's suicide, loved ones with addictions, and now the death of his beloved wife of 40 years.
Saturday, December 25, 2021
One Year Has Now Passed
Thursday, November 18, 2021
My Modern Love (this should have made the New York Times!)
Thursday, July 8, 2021
Story of a Life
california girl
dancing in a red dress
not something a minnesota boy
could resist
three children one a baby
later
she ran off never to be seen again
(later dying alone in her 70s)
looking back
overwhelmed in his 20s
what now to do?
how does one search for a wife
and mother
with two kids and a baby?
then she appeared
a mere teenager
a good catholic girl
“3 for 3” she said
and then there were
six
but she stayed a teenager
when the older kids were
out of the house
he finally divorced her
now once again
lost and broken
a domestic failure
he found his once-in-a-lifetime
soul-mate
they grew together for
40 years
joined at the hip
they said
he cared for during her illness
loved her passionately until
she died
now in his 80s
a woman passed by
improbably
they clicked
each with
that deep passionate
soul-mate feeling
once again
from death came life
a mutual resurrection
it’s true
what philosophers
pundits and theologians preach
love love love
yes it’s true
thanks be
thanks be.
Wednesday, May 5, 2021
Healing Comes
In the midst of grief and loss comes healing in the guise of a person... so unexpected... so mystical... so biblical...
Christine
seeking renewal
salvation
a love once
again
he rises and
writes
was it that first day
when her
children bought
the house next
door?
when they
became
neighbors?
his heart still
fractured
in pieces
(disintegrated)
she
a widow
resolved to years
alone
neither expecting the
unexpected
he at first
meeting quipped
‘hey, neighbor, up for an
adventure?”
“sure!”
ha-ha
he sought a walking
partner
a woman
(how he loved
their presence)
with whom
to talk
both unsuspecting
hearing about his
new
neighbors
his daughters write
“dad, maybe she could be
your friend?”
a seed planted?
everyone knew he would
not
do well alone
slowly days passed
a small spark
of adventure
ignited
a strange feeling
engulfed captured him
puppy love?
of course
but then they did
“the 36 questions”
(short-cutting months
of dating)
motown played in his
mind
“fooled around and fell
In love”
a song from
“carousel” if I
loved you…”
those who loved them
cautioned
wary
then they
saw
them
together
his friends said
“she’s a keeper”
another said
“she must have
sent her”
don’t you remember
her
obituary?
“take care of him
love and hug him”
they thought they
would never
love again
yet they began to
feel that
thing
they laughed
acted giddy
and so day by
day
they fell
in
love
grandpa and
grandma on
a kaleidoscopic
merry-go-round
epical
to find again that
bonding
honesty
mutuality
openness
connection
other-above-self
thing called
love
much over-used
often inaccurate
mostly
divinity enfleshed
better to
experience
so they did
a happiness and
joy
not easily put
usunder
possibly their
golden days of
elderness
is her name
a
coincidence?
and his
beloved of God?
two lives
two souls
saved.
Sunday, April 4, 2021
Easter
We who have suffered great loss have an opportunity to once again seize life; to consider the possibility that “it ain’t over till it’s over!”
Historically, we are surrounded by stories both sacred and profane. It is those sacred stories to which I gravitate.
Today is Easter Sunday... we know it’s a story about Jesus and his resurrection from the dead. But could it be more?
Could these ancient stories about Jesus and his friend, Lazarus, help you and I who deeply grieve the death of a loved one, the isolation of this pandemic, and/or our politics?
when you died
i wanted to die with
you
i lingered like
lazarus
bound and yes
these last months
i “stinketh”
still bound i
heard
the sound of
voices
new and old
the scratchy
scrapping noise of
the rock
of my tomb being
rolled away
and then your
voice
a sweetness
yearned
loving
commanding
“unbind him and
set him
free”
yes Lord you
lifted me
pulled me up
and out
healed a shattered
heart
pieced it together
as it learned to
touch another
to love
now i get it
that story about you
you
meant for us.
Monday, March 29, 2021
Healing
Slowly, ever so slowly, my healing has begun.
And it began not with isolation or aloneness, but with people. As I return to parish ministry and interact with PEOPLE; first on Ash Wednesday, then with new neighbors, now with Palm Sunday and the rituals of Holy Week ahead of me, I sense a new beginning.
I know that all this time I have been covered, bathed, in loving thoughts and prayers from you as Sabine requested in her obituary:
“ I hope you who read this and know the man who is the love of my life, the breath of my spirit, and the heart, soul of my very being, David, will care for him. Give him your love, your ear, your time, your hugs, and your uplifting support. I would have stayed here forever (if I could) just to be with him...”
Thanks to all of you who have responded to Sabine’s request, who have given me your love, listened and cared for me, and who have given me your time, hugs and support, You are the balm of my healing..
I thank you deeply, very deeply...
Wednesday, March 24, 2021
Alone?
One of the great dilemmas (and challenges) of widowhood is having to live alone after enjoying the blessings of a lifetime of companionship. Like many men, I enjoy getting together with the guys. But getting together with a woman is another (and I will have to admit) more enjoyable experience — sorry guys!
Sabine knew me well and knew me deeply. We talked about this. She said that if I died first, she would not be interested in partnering again. In fact, because of her cancer, she said she would simply stop treatment. But as for me, she knew that I needed the friendship of women. So here’s my thoughts on this dilemma as I surf the waves of grief which currently dominate my life.
some say
you
now must
learn to
live
alone
why I cry?
why must I now
be alone?
should i not
seek a
companion
the
presence of a
woman?
i have lived with
women
all my
life
and now
to be without
this presence
(vive la difference)
within
my aging life
really?
are you serious?
you impose death
to me
alone
if you
cared for me
loved me
why would you deny
me this?
why would you?
why sentence me to
that solitary
torturer?
the executioner
called
loneliness?
(Sotto voce:
would she
who
deeply
loved him
without condition
wish
this for for
him?
or
see him
happy
companioned
laughing once
again?
he may be old
not
dead
yet).