One of the great dilemmas (and challenges) of widowhood is having to live alone after enjoying the blessings of a lifetime of companionship. Like many men, I enjoy getting together with the guys. But getting together with a woman is another (and I will have to admit) more enjoyable experience — sorry guys!
Sabine knew me well and knew me deeply. We talked about this. She said that if I died first, she would not be interested in partnering again. In fact, because of her cancer, she said she would simply stop treatment. But as for me, she knew that I needed the friendship of women. So here’s my thoughts on this dilemma as I surf the waves of grief which currently dominate my life.
some say
you
now must
learn to
live
alone
why I cry?
why must I now
be alone?
should i not
seek a
companion
the
presence of a
woman?
i have lived with
women
all my
life
and now
to be without
this presence
(vive la difference)
within
my aging life
really?
are you serious?
you impose death
to me
alone
if you
cared for me
loved me
why would you deny
me this?
why would you?
why sentence me to
that solitary
torturer?
the executioner
called
loneliness?
(Sotto voce:
would she
who
deeply
loved him
without condition
wish
this for for
him?
or
see him
happy
companioned
laughing once
again?
he may be old
not
dead
yet).
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