Another "One Year to Live" Retreat

How could it possibly be that each OYTL Men’s Retreat ("One Year To Live") I have attended gets better and better?

One reason might be that it fell on the Feast of Pentecost this past weekend and God’s Holy Spirit fell mightily on all of us!

Or that we had men throughout the country who have attended OYTL retreats serving as “prayer warriors” – praying a number of times each day the retreat was in session.

Or maybe it was because we had broke the "denominational barrier" with a significant number of men attending who were not Lutherans!

But whatever it was, IT WAS!  And what WAS was powerful!

No man who opened his heart to this weekend could walk away from it doubting his faith or the power of God to transform a man’s life!

Throughout the weekend, the gifts of the Spirit were truly, visibly, and audibly present: “The utterance of wisdom… and (words of) knowledge… faith… gifts of healing…working of miracles…prophecy… discernment… various kinds of tongues…” and, undeniably, the greatest of all gifts of the Spirit – LOVE – lovingkindness pouring out upon us and the overwhelming sense and full understanding of God’s love for each and every one of us! (1Cor 12).

While I cannot disclose the specific nature of this retreat because it would take away from the experience, I can talk about what happened (again) to me. By going on retreat I get away from the frantic nature and “busyness” of my daily life and have a chance to slow down… reflect on my life… how's it working for me?  and what I need to do to make mid-course corrections.  Then by opening my heart, getting away from "competition and comparing" and letting God speak to me in his various ways my life is changed for the better (maybe slowly, but increasingly better).

Through these retreats, I have come to understand God's mission for me in this life and that I am a “work in progress” -- not a perfect work, but a seeking-to-improve work.  I have also been shown that I need to be more active in helping other men improve their lives and that is why the OYTL retreats have been so moving for me.
Here is my present Mission developed (again) at the retreat this past weekend:

I AM David, my name in Hebrew means “Beloved of God.”
I am a man, loving husband of Sabine, father, grandfather, brother and friend.


I EXIST to SERVE God with integrity as a DISCIPLE of Jesus Christ.


I DO THIS BY:


       Being a SERVANT LEADER.


       Working for JUSTICE, PEACE and LOVE in my sphere of influence.


       Seeking the face of Jesus in every person I know and meet.


       Not tolerating "bullshit" or passivity.

The next men’s “One Year to Live” retreat will be held again at the MacKenzie Center near Poynette, Wisconsin. The dates are September 17-19, 2010. God-willing, I will be there as a member of the staff team.

If you know me – and trust me – you will hear what I am saying and sign up for this retreat.  It will give you the opportunity to change your life for the better – this I guarantee!

Hope to see you in September!

Washed Another's Feet Lately?

I have been thinking a lot about what Jesus said about leadership, If there is one thing that would greatly improve the condition of the world it would be that those who were in leadership positions truly served and thought of themselves as “servant leaders.” In short, to lead as Jesus led. I can see the bumper sticker now, “How Would Jesus Lead?” Well, I think it’s safe to say that most leaders, even those in the church, don’t lead as Jesus led.

After all, Jesus said some very strong and specific things about leadership,

“You’ve observed how godless rulers throw their weight around, and when people get a little power how quickly it goes to their heads. It’s not going to be that way with you. Whoever wants to be great among you must become a servant. (Mark 10:42-45, The Message).

“It’s not going to be that way for you… you must become a servant.” For those of us in leadership positions, (by the way, that’s also raising children) how does this teaching of Jesus inform our life? Have we been able to avoid power going to our heads, throwing our weight around? Jesus led by washing the feet of his followers. You can’t demonstrate what he was talking about better than that! And he tells us to do the same thing (John 13:7-9). This wasn’t to be a literary device or a bit of hyperbole, but rather something we should in fact DO!

Maybe if we all did a little more foot-washing it would keep those of us in leadership positions from getting too big a head. Besides its obvious effect in our workplaces, it would also have tremendous implications for the church. I recently noticed, however, that my Book of Common Prayer does not suggest these passages on foot-washing and servant leadership be read at an ordination or celebration of new ministry.

Perhaps those of us who are church members should require those who wish to be our leaders not only to be faithful in prayer and study of the Bible, but also to be a servant leader like Jesus was. Wouldn’t it be a strong message when we came to church each Sunday if our priest or pastor (and, of course, bishop when he visits) to greet us at the church entrance, kneeling with water basin and towel in hand, ready to wash our feet?

But, of course, we all know why this most likely will never happen don’t we?

Go Tell it to the Marines! But Will They Answer?

Last year, I read Sgt. Jeremiah Workman’s book, Shadow of the Sword: A Marine’s Journey of War, Heroism, and Redemption (Random House, 2009). Sgt. Workman is a highly decorated Marine who returned from Iraq with PSTD (Post Traumatic Streee Disorder). When he returned stateside he was assigned to the Marine Corps Recruit Depot at Parris Island, SC. He said his job was to train Marine recruits and, as part of this job assignment, he was to psychologically pressure these young men to the point of at least three of them attempting suicide by the mid-point of their three-month training program. I was shocked by this statement and, as a former Marine, I wrote to Gen. James T. Conway, Commandant of the Marine Corps, as to whether this allegation was true and whether or not the Marine Corps condoned this type of training.

It has now been over four months since I posted that letter. After two months, I contacted Sen. Russell Feingold’s office in Milwaukee and requested that Gen. Conway answer my letter. They, in turn, sent a letter to a Col. Skuta who is the Marine Corp’s Deputy Liaison Officer in Washington, DC. I have yet to hear from either Gen. Conway or Col. Skuta.  What goes?

Now, as some time has passed, what is a reasonable amount of time a citizen should have to wait to receive an answer from a government agency? I know we are fighting two wars, but a four month wait seems far too long to have to wait for an inquiry to be answered -- especially one that should be a simple yes or no.  Either they do it or they don't.

Now you may ask, what does this have to do with spirituality? Well, to me and my deepest theological thinking, justice is spirituality with legs. I believe that as citizens we need to be concerned with what goes on in not only our nation’s criminal justice system, but also our military forcces. To me (and to Isaiah) the God I believe in is a God of justice.

A thousand will flee
at the threat of one;
at the threat of five
you will all flee away,
till you are left
like a flagstaff on a mountaintop,
like a banner on a hill."

Yet the LORD longs to be gracious to you;
he rises to show you compassion.
For the LORD is a God of justice.
Blessed are all who wait for him! (30:17-18)

The following is the content of the letter I wrote to the Commandant on January 2, 2010:


Dear General Conway:


As a former Marine, I feel compelled to write to you after having read Sgt. Jeremiah Workman’s book, Shadow of the Sword: A Marine’s Journey of War, Heroism, and Redemption (Random House, 2009). My early days as a Marine spanned a decade of both active and reserve duty. I always was, and continue to be, proud of being a Marine. Since my active duty days, I went on to continue practicing the leadership I first learned as a Marine NCO as the Chief of Police of Madison, Wisconsin for over 20 years. After over thirty years of service, I retired and became a priest in the Episcopal Church.


Most of my life has been in the practice of leadership and training others to serve and lead; a life that, I am sure, is also familiar to you. You come from a long line of great leaders – as a young Marine I was impressed by the stories surrounding Chesty Puller. Later on, it was Al Gray. I still remember a television interview with him on “60 Minutes” a number of years ago. During the interview, General Gray was shown addressing a number of Naval Academy Cadets who were thinking of joining the Marines. General Gray told them that if they decided to join his Corps, their “number one job” would be to take care of the men and women they would be privileged to lead!


During the late 1980s and early 1990s, I conducted numerous courses about leadership in police departments throughout across our nation. One of the videos I used was General Gray’s interview on “60 Minutes.” His talk with those Cadets illustrated in a few words what it meant to be a leader who serves.


In the summer of 1956 I showed up at MCRD San Diego as a young Marine in having joined the Marine Reserve a year earlier while still in high school. I arrived at MCRD a few months after the nation had been shocked by the death of six recruits during a recruit training exercise at Parris Island in April, 1956. After the court-martial of Sgt. Matthew McKeon, changes were made in Marine recruit training. As I understood it, part of that reform was to prohibit drill instructors from physically assaulting recruits.


When I arrived at MCRD, I remember being shouted at, stressed out, and brought to the point of near exhaustion – it was tough, but purposeful – and no superior officer ever assaulted me or hazed me. Personally, had I been treated in this manner I would not hold the respect I do today for the Marine Corps. Without being assaulted or harassed, I went on to become a proficient Marine on sea duty and later as a member of First Force Recon Company.


Over the years, I have personally directed my training staff that physical abuse and harassment of police candidates is strictly prohibited and has no place in our training curriculum. In fact, should a person do this they would be committing a crime. Over the years, we have learned about the negative consequences of this type of training when it is used by others.


Therefore, that is why I am writing you this letter. In Sgt. Workman’s book, he claims that as a junior drill instructor at Parris Island, he was instructed by superior officers to harass and emotionally “break” young Marines to the point of attempted suicide. Further, that it was a goal of the training cycle to break at least two or three Marines to this point. Is that true? Is that what we have become?


General Conway, I truly would like to know if this is currently the practice and, if it is, what you are going to do about it.


Anticipating a thorough and thoughtful response, I remain faithfully yours,

(signed)
The Rev. David Courtland Couper
Sergeant, 1518984 (Active and Reserve Duty: 1955-1968)
4th Infantry BN, 4th MAR DIV
Marine Detachment, USS Boxer (CVS-21)
1st Force Recon Company, FMF