Talking to Men: Accountability

Accountability: the quality or state of being accountable; an obligation or willingness to accept responsibility or to account for one's actions.

            How accountable are we and to whom? Do we take responsibility for our behavior, sincerely and honestly account for it to our wives, children, friends, even co-workers? And if so, how?

            Accountability reminds me of change and change reminds me of the old question about how many psychiatrists it takes to change a light bulb. The answer, of course, is that you never know because the light bulb must first want to change. Doesn’t the same thought pertain to all of us? If we don’t want to change we never will unless it is a life or death situation. But then if we are sincere about changing our behavior, that’s when accountability can step in (that is after you, the “bulb,” wants to change).

            In my years changing organizations, I have come to realize that there is only one thing that will help a man change – accountability to other men.

            If you are a man who wants to change then tell other men about the change you are about to undertake. Then check-in with two of those men and a weekly basis and give them permission to hold you accountable, ask questions on how you are doing, and that you will answer their questions honestly. You'll be surprised how effective and change-producing this can be.

            After all, we men are good at self-deception. We have learned these behaviors to protect ourselves and our grand self-images. Few of us have ever had the opportunity to see ourselves as others see us. But if we are sincere about our desire to change and seeing ourselves as others see us, this is one good and sure way to do it. 

            At these weekly meetings with two trusted friends answer the following questions:

Since we last met…

1.      As a person of faith, tell us about your highs/lows... struggles & victories?

2.      How have you handled temptation?

3.      How have you managed your addictions or addictive tendencies?

4.      What has been the quality and character of your role as 

              a) husband, 

              b) father, 

              c) friend, and 

              d) co-worker? 

                     Did they meet God’s expectations of you? 

                     Where have you fallen short?            

                     Where do you need prayer and encouragement?

5.      Tell us about how you have practiced your faith so that it has been evident to others in a positive way?

6. What is your plan for the coming week in light of what you have told us?

7. Have you been totally honest in what you have said?

            Men, if you are really sincere about being the man God created you to be, you will seriously consider what I have posted here. Good luck and God bless you!