The Spirituality of a Child in Jail

In the past, I have commented on my reluctance to do what Jesus asked -- namely, to visit those in prison (Mt. 25).  My reluctance has not been because of the prisoners, but because of the system one has to encounter in visiting jails or prisons.  Now that I am retired from working in the Criminal Justice System, and then as a priest having visited a number of persons in jails and prisons, I think I am more concerned about how the system treats its visitors -- even visitors who are there to help.  Our society could do a lot better with regard to making visitors feel more comfortable in visiting prisoners.  It has been my experience that system seems to distain the visitors as much as those who are incarcerated -- guilt by association, or?

Nevertheless, there is nothing worse for me than visiting a child who is locked up in either prison or jail.  Of all my life experiences, it is an experience that I wish I didn't have.  But within evry event or experience, I feel we must ask ourselves these questions: Why is God putting me here?  And what is it God wants me to do with this experience?  It is the answer to those questions which strengthens our spirituality.

This discussion comes about because I recently visited my youngest son in the Dane County Jail (picture on the left. The white building in the background is the City-County Building.  You can almost see the ground-level office in which I resided for over 20 years as the city's chief of police). 

My recent jail visits were not his first from me and his mother -- nor our first family visit to a jail.  Yet I have to admit that every time I go is a challenging spiritual journey -- almost a wilderness experience from which I would like to run from and a place in which I feel I am being tested by interior wild animals).  It may be difficult for you to imagine one of your children in prison -- it was, and still is, for me.  After all, I spent over 30 years of my life putting people in prison.  I never thought one of my children would be in that situation.

Each time it causes me to re-think parenting, how we treat addicts, and how we rehabilitate offenders.  After all, more than one-half (maybe as much as 3/4) of those in prison are there because of alcohol or other drug addictions.  Like many families of addicts, we have tried just about everything and nothing has seemed to work -- at least YET; at least so far!  It is difficult to understand the mind and actions of an addict.  Even when you love them.  In my life experience I have seen some things work for some people some of the time.  That's it.  So we have to keep on trying the "some things," some time again and again.  I also kknow that either the addicted person is rehabilitated, he dies, or she simply gets sick and tired of being an addict.  I have seen all three of these numersous times -- and, unfortunately, officiated at more than enough burials involving suicides, accidents and over-doses.  The greatest fear I have is that my son will die before he becomes sober and drug-free.  That is a frightening thought for me.

I went through that for years with an adult daughter.  Every day I thought I would get a call telling me she was dead.  Now, through the grace of God, she has been sober for 10 years now.  This became a blessing our of a very terrible wilderness.  So hope works and so does prayer.

So where is this going?  It is a father's sadness... my grief, my inability to "fix" my child... and yet still knowing that life is a combination of things -- of things not being fair... even unjust... and often my lament "Why, O Lord, me?"

But what I want to get out of this is to be able to put aside my shame... work through my grief and accept this situation and do what ever I can do.  And remembering that sometimes love has to be tough!  At the same time, like my experience when Sabine was first diagnosed with an incurable cancer, God stands with me.  God has got my back covered. God will get me through this.  I know this!

The Serenity Prayer seems appropriate here: 

"God give me the courage to change what I can, to accept that in my life that I cannot change.  And the wisdom to know the difference.  So be it!"

Filled with Awe: Coming out of the Omaha Men's Retreat

This is my second "One Year to Live" (OYTL) Retreat which has been developed by Lyman Coleman for Lutheran Men in Mission


. My first retreat was last November and you can read all about it at an earlier blog (November 16, 2009, "Talking to Men").

I am really passionate about this retreat for men. If you have talked with me recently you know. I went to Omaha with my good friend, Pastor Rob Nelson. We are so on fire for this spiritual experience for men that we committed to go to Omaha to learn how to be a team leader. It was our second experience with the rerreat and I think we both went up a notch or two spiritually! The word I have is "awe." And it comes from the New Testament. Those who followed Jesus were constantly filled with awe. In Luke's Gospel we read:

"Jesus said to the paralyzed man, 'I tell you, get up, take your mat and go home.' Immediately he stood up in front of them, took what he had been lying on and went home praising God. Everyone was amazed and gave praise to God. They were filled with awe and said, 'We have seen remarkable things today.'" (5:24-26).

Many of us men are paralyzed. We are paralyzed by a false sense of masculinity, the need to control and dominate, and the fear of being emotional and people finding out who we are behind our masks. What I again experienced at the retreat was not only release from the various paralysis and fear in my life (like my fear of Sabine dying) but also the same thing going on with the men assigned to my small group. Jesus was a man. He was not a pansie! Let's not forget that.

I can't give you the details of the retreat because it would detract from the total experience. But I can tell you that I would be prepared to personally refund your tuition if you didn't think it was a one of the best experiences you have ever had in your life. You can hold me to it!

Now... what do you need to know? You need to know that if you decide to attend you need to commit to being at the retreat from 5:30 Friday afternoon to 3 p.m. on Sunday. The rest is based on your trust of me and whether or not you think I would steer you or any other man wrong.

You can see a video of some men who were at a recent OYTL Retreat in Colorado at: http://www.youtube.com/user/EwersArchitecture?feature=mhw4#p/a/f/0/wbKfEa3JF3c and an application blank for the May 21-23 Retreat at the McKenzie Center near Poynette, WI can be downloaded at this site: http://lutheranmeninmission.org/events/oytl.html.

Now let me talk straight to you men: Unless you take time to slow down, go on a retreat and reflect on your life you will never find the peace and happiness you desire. You can work extra hours, make lots of money and have lots of toys to play with, but you will never find happiness in things and stuff. You may even think the woman in your life is happy until one day she walks out on you and the fight for your kids begins!

You may be half-way through life's game. If you are, you need to take a break -- like a halftime in a football game and see what plays are working for you and which ones aren't. Half-time is a time to change your game in order to get what you really want out of life. And I can tell you this from my own experience as a hard working cop and then pastor -- I have never met a man who on his deathbed wished he spent more time at the office or at work. What do you think that man really wanted out of life? When you think about having one year to live the really important stuff floats to the top of your bucket list.

If you bring your "A Game" to this retreat, I can guarantee you will get an "A Game" out of the remaining years of your life -- that is, if you have a year. I pray you do, because your wife and your children will see the difference and you will know the peace and happiness you have struggled to get but seem to be thwarted from achieving.

A Time of Refreshment

In the second chapter of the Book of Acts, Luke tells the story of the emerging disciples of Jesus and how Peter was emboldend by God's Spirit addressing the crowd about Jesus' Lordship and Resurrection.  This was, as Peter said, "so that times of refreshing may come..." (v. 20).  This passage is one of the readings for the Thursday after Easter and yesterday it deeply grabbed me.  I love it when that happens.  All of a sudden I am ambushed by God's Word.  Bang!  "Times of refreshment!"

Is this not it?  For me, this time of Easter is this "time of refreshing" that Peter talked about.  As Sabine and I have journeyed nearly two and one-half years through the darkness of cancer we are now joyfully experiencing the result of a positive cell transplant -- a "time of refreshment."

Each year at Christmas time I hear the words of the German mystic, Meister Eckardt in my ears reminding me that the birth of Jesus means nothing unless he is born again in my heart.  Unless Christ is born in us Christmas means nothing -- might as well give it back to Rudolph and Santa.  And on Easter, unless we raised with Christ, we remain dead.  We turn our backs on that "time of refreshment."

I hope you, too, have both felt the birth of Christ in your heart and have experienced the power of God raising Jesus from the dead.  I was emotionally dead that time in January, 2008 when Sabine was diagosed with cancer -- and yet here we both are raised again.

Brothers and sisters, that is the Christian journey, we enter into little deaths all of the time and the hope we have is our being raised again just as Jesus was.  This raising again, each time, can be for us a "time of refreshment."  Alleluia, Christ is Risen!  Enjoy and give thanks for this refreshment!

It's Been a Holy Week

I have to admit that I am an Easter guy.  For me, it is Easter that lifts up my soul and not Christmas.  I know that if we didn't have Christ's birth we could not share in his Resurrection, but the secular world seems to have stolen Christmas.  And while there is the Easter bunny, he doesn't (thankfully) command as much attention as Santa does!

This is Holy Week -- that spiritual journey we are invited to make from Palm Sunday (The Sunday of the Passion) to the washing of feet on Maundy Thursday, Jesus' Friday death on the Cross -- and now, beginning tonight, the GREAT EASTER CELEBRATION.

This past week, Sabine and I have been serving little Holy Trinity Church in Prairie du Chien on the Mississippi River.  They are a small, faithful group of Episcopalians who recently lost their priest who had served them for forty years.  We began this week with the procession of palms singing that familiar refrain, "All glory, laud and honor, to thee Redeemer King..."

On Maundy Thursday, whose name comes from the Latin, "mandatum" -- to command -- we washed one another's feet as Jesus asked us to do (for by being a servant to one another we show others we follow Jesus).  On this day we also celebrate the Lord's Supper together.  On this day we begin the three-day "Triduum:" one continuing path of worship from this day to Good Friday and then to the Great Easter Celebration!

As we left the church on Thursday evening the sanctuary is striped of it's paraments, candles and crosses in preparation for the Solemn Liturgy of Good Friday.  We began the Good Friday with the Stations of the Cross (using Joan Chittister's meditative, "Gateway to Resurrection," followed by the Good Friday liturgy which includes the Solemn Collects and an adoration in front of a large wooden cross.  At the end of the lituryg, we silently exit the church after sharing Communion from the Reserved Sacrament.  All the bread and wine are consumed leaving the Aumbry (tabernacle) which houses the Reserved Sacrament empty -- like a tomb.

All this is in spiritual preparation for the The Great Easter Vigil at sunset on Saturday.  At the Great Vigil we build a new fire, light the paschal candle and enter into the darkened church we left on Good Friday.  Prophecies from the Hebrew Bible are heard, and baptisms conducted.  It is also the time for all Christians to come forward and renew their baptismal convenants and be reminded of our baptism as we are sprinkled with holy water from the font.  Then the congregation exits the dark church praying the Prayers of the People.

Soon, the door of the church is opened.  I shout, "Alleluia, Christ is Risen!" and the congregation responds, "The Lord is Risen, indeed, Alleluia!" and enters a church filled with light, the fragrance of Easter lilies, and the joyous Gloria which has not been heard since the beginning of Lent -- "Glory to God in the highest and peace to his people on earth!" 

It is now that the Easter celebration begins.  Bells are rung -- rejoicing is everywhere as we all celebrate the first Easter Mass and partake in the bread and wine and experience the Risen Christ!

So this is why I love Holy Week.  It is a spiritual journey which both nutures and blesses me and mine.

HAVE A BLESSED EASTER.  Rise up with the Risen Christ!  Move out of the tomb which holds you and go toward the Light of all Lights!

What Ever Happened to Civil Discussion?

I don't know about you, but I am getting weary of not only mean politics, but also mean theology.  But let's just look at theological discussion for now.  Jim Wallis and Brian McClaren have been called "Marxists" for being so bold as to say there is a "social gospel;" that Jesus came to right things like poverty, unjust social systems, and illness.  Did these guys ever go to Sunday school?

Today, Brian McClaren, who calls himself an "evangelical," was inerviewed on National Public Radio concerning some parts of today's on-going Christian arguments.  It is worth listening to or reading.  There is even a lengthy excerpt from his new book, A New Kind of Christianity, which has caused more rancor -- not from McClaren -- but from his opponents and detractors,  (See http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=125165061&ps=cprs.

One of the issues is the ancient (and somewhat tired, I must admit) discussion about who is going to hell and who isn't.  About 60 percent of Christian traditionalist (though fewer in number each year) today say that anyone who is not a Christian is going to suffer eternal damnation in hell.  Younger folks, under age 35, even young evangelicals in that age range) have a much different take on it.  They have grown up in a religously pluralist world.  They know of, or have friends who are, Buddhist, Hindu, Jew, or Muslim.  Nearly two-thirds of them believe that their non-Christian friends are going to be damned eternally to hell.

Of course, when you get right down to it, what kind of global community would this be if everyone thought this way?  The days of tribalism must pass and we all need to understand truly that not only are we all  genetically related, we are all "the neighbor" who is to be loved as strongly as one is to love God and the neighbor to whom we should practice the almost universal "Golden Rule."

David Campbell, a professor at Notre Dame and co-author of American Grace: How Religion Is Reshaping Our Civic and Political Lives found that "a young evangelical, Roman Catholic [or] mainline Protestant growing up in America today, if he goes to college, his roommate might be Hindu.  His roommate might be Muslim. His roommate might be Buddhist or atheist. So, suddenly the 'other' is sleeping across the room.  And, it's really hard to condemn someone to eternal damnation on the basis of their religion when you know them well and have come to love them."

I am being to understand why most young people tell me they are "spiritual" and not "religious."  Who would want to be called "religious" when that can mean eternally condeming your friends to hell?  And who would want to be "religious" when all you hear is acrimony and condemnation between Christians themselves?  After all, if Christians can't get along with each other how might we expect them to act in the world?

As for me, maybe I will start calling myself "spiritual" and not Anglican or Christian.  Better yet, maybe I should just call myself a struggling disciple of that Palestinian carpenter who tried show us how to live with one another!

Being Tested

At a recent men's group meeting we took one of those stress assessments: things that have gone on in your life; marriages, deaths, divorcces, changing jobs, and even the "good events" were ranked as stressful events -- things like retiring, a promotion, etc.

I was definitely in the top end -- the cancer, a son struggling with addictionl, a daughter off to Afghanistan, another retirement, etc.

I know that the Bible tells us that God does not put more things in our way than we can handle.  If that be the case, God has a lot of confidence in me.  God must know I can handle a lot of BIG STUFF. 

So God, I am calling on you to back up what you said by shoreing and toughening me up.  Come on, God, you can do it!  In the meantime, God, no more tests!  Please!

And then... my youngest daughter has just called me on the phone.  She is boarding an airplane with her Army unit.  They are headed for Afghanistan.  I begin to be choked up... I tell her I deeply love her and that she will be in the prayers of her mother and me.  Dread creeps up on me as we say "goodbye" -- which is, "God be with ye."

I write this poem:

her sweet voice
my youngest daughter
boarding a plane
to afghanistan
my daughter
part of
this empire’s
long
strong
and reaching arm
but something’s
wrong
daughters and
wives to war?
what have
we become?

Contemplating When Things Go Wrong

A popular television psychologist recently remarked, "You never get over being a parent!"  It is so true.  Our adult childhood may be out of sight, but never out of mind.  And when a bad thing happen to one of my children (by either accident or intention) it triggers a flood of emotions ranging from "if I had only been a better parent" to  "this is beyond my control and there is nothing I can do" to a more steadying --"I feel a great sadness; a sadness not easily avoided."

These feelings for me are best put into poetry as I emotionally recon the terrian and get my bearings as to when the "child" is, where I am, and, most importantly, where God is in this...

the sadness

a reluctant companion
a child’s
hopes and dreams
scattered again
waveringly i
reach for
God's hand
i sense his presence
yet also another sense
a coldness
not close
but
hovering nearby
waiting
it is
death
its challenge
conclusion and
ending
it floats like
an angry
mist
waiting
watching while
tears
inside of me
taste bitter
and
growl around
in my
nervous stomach
my voice
cracking
oh God
oh God.

Developing a Spiritual Plan

During Lent I have been serving Holy Trinity Episcopal Church in Prairie du Chien which is just west of us on the Mississippi River.  The book we are reading during Lent is John Ortberg's, "The Life You've Always Wanted: Spiritual Disciplines for Ordinary People."  John does a great job in making spiritual exercises (training) simple and understandable.

He gives us some questions we should ask ourselves in developing our own spiritual plan:

1. How and when shall we pray?

2. How are we going to handle our money in a way that draws us closer to God.

3. How are we going to approach our work in a way that will help Christ to be formed in us?

4. How are we going to be involved in Christian community?

5. How are we going to fill our daily tasks with a sense of God's presence?

I think these are the basic questions we need to ask ourselves -- a good checklist through the year.  We all need a "rule of life;" a plan as to how we are going to live this precious life that God has given us.

As Paul wrote to the Galatians, "All that matters is that one is created anew" (6:15).  Spiritual development is all about being created anew!

Juking the Stats

I have never seen the HBO series, “The Wire,” but from what I heard in an interview I heard re-played this morning between the executive producer of the series, David Simon (a former big-city news reporter), and Bill Moyers, I put the five-season series in my Netflix queue as soon as I could.



During the interview, Moyers and Simon talk about the American city, politics, police, public education and, as they say, our propensity to ‘juke' [manipulate] urban statistics.  In it, Simon makes stunning and insightful commentary on our current economic system and the "war on drugs":


SIMON: The people most affected by [our current economic system] are black and brown and poor. It's the abandoned inner cores of our urban areas. And we don't, as we said before, economically, we don't need those people. The American economy doesn't need them. So, as long as they stay in their ghettos, and they only kill each other, we're willing to pay a police presence to keep them out of our America. And to let them fight over scraps, which is what the drug war, effectively, is. I don't think-- since we basically have become a market-based culture and it's what we know, and it's what's led us to this sad denouement, I think we're going to follow market-based logic, right to the bitter end.


MOYERS: Which says?


SIMON: If you don't need 'em, why extend yourself? Why seriously assess what you're doing to your poorest and most vulnerable citizens? There's no profit to be had in doing anything other than marginalizing them and discarding them.


MOYERS: But here's the problem for journalism. When we write about inequality, we use numbers that are profound, but are numbing. I mean, here's an excerpt I read just this morning: "Over the past 20 years, the elite one percent of Americans saw their share of the nation's income double, from 11.3 percent to 22.1 percent. But their tax burden shrank by about one-third." Now those facts tell us something very important. That the rich got richer as their tax rates shrunk. But it doesn't seem to start people's blood rushing, you know? Another topic they take on during the interview is this matter of “juking” statistics whether they be crime data or public school test scores.


MOYERS: Yes, one of my favorite scenes, in Season Four, we get to see the struggling public school system in Baltimore, through the eyes of a former cop who's become a schoolteacher. In this telling scene, he realizes that state testing in the schools is little more than a trick he learned on the police force. It's called "juking the stats."


++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++


[A dialogue from “The Wire:”]


PRINCIPAL: So for the time being, all teachers will devote class time to teaching language arts sample questions. Now if you turn to page eleven, please, I have some things I want to go over with you.


"PREZ" PRYZBYLEWSKI (a former cop now working as a teacher): I don't get it, all this so we score higher on the state tests? If we're teaching the kids the test questions, what is it assessing in them?


COLLEAGUE: Nothing, it assesses us. The test scores go up, they can say the schools are improving. The scores stay down, they can't.


PREZ: Juking the stats.


COLLEAGUE: Excuse me?


PREZ: Making robberies into larcenies, making rapes disappear. You juke the stats, and major become colonels. I've been here before.


COLLEAGUE: Wherever you go, there you are.


++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++


SIMON: You show me anything that depicts institutional progress in America, school test scores, crime stats, arrest reports, arrest stats, anything that a politician can run on, anything that somebody can get a promotion on. And as soon as you invent that statistical category, 50 people in that institution will be at work trying to figure out a way to make it look as if progress is actually occurring when actually no progress is. And this comes down to Wall Street. I mean, our entire economic structure fell behind the idea that these mortgage-based securities were actually valuable. And they had absolutely no value. They were toxic. And yet, they were being traded and being hurled about, because somebody could make some short-term profit. In the same way that a police commissioner or a deputy commissioner can get promoted, and a major can become a colonel, and an assistant school superintendent can become a school superintendent, if they make it look like the kids are learning, and that they're solving crime. And that was a front row seat for me as a reporter. Getting to figure out how the crime stats actually didn't represent anything, once they got done with them.


MOYERS: And you say that's driving the war on drugs, though, right? The stats, not the-


SIMON: Dope on the table. Stats, you know, "We've made so many arrests." I mean, they used to ride around Baltimore under one administration, and say, "If we can make 54 arrests a day, we'll break the-- we'll have an all-time record for drug arrests."


SIMON: Some of the arrests, well, it was people sitting on their stoops and, you know, loitering in a drug free zone, meaning you were sitting on your own steps on a summer day. Anything that is a stat can be cheated, right down to journalism. And I was sort of party to that. So, I would be-- I would be watching what the police department was doing, what the school system was, you know, you would look outward. But if you looked inward you'd see that the same game is played everywhere. That nobody's actually in the business of doing what the institution's supposed to do.


Simon also has some harsh things to say about the “war” on drugs. When Moyers asked him what he would do about the drug problem Simon said:


SIMON: Oh, I would decriminalize drugs in a heartbeat. I would put all the interdiction money, all the incarceration money, all the enforcement money, all of the pretrial, all the prep, all of that cash, I would hurl it, as fast as I could, into drug treatment and job training and jobs programs. I would rather turn these neighborhoods inward with jobs programs. Even if it was the equivalent of the urban CCC, if it was New Deal-type logic, it would be doing less damage than creating a war syndrome, where we're basically treating our underclass. The drug war's war on the underclass now. That's all it is. It has no other meaning.


++++++++++++++++++++++++++

As I see it, the ramifications of not only the spiritual heart of our nation but our very survival is put into question. What is up for discussion her is efficacy of our system of government. This entire interview bears careful reading (the interview transcript between Moyers and Simon, dated April 17, 2009, can be read at: http://www.pbs.org/moyers/journal/04172009/transcript1.html

Beware, I am sure you will find it as provocative as I did.

Why I Choose to Believe

I am often a doubter... but I don't think my doubting has ever caused me not to have faith -- to at least belief in the existence of God.  We probably all would like to have the opportunity St Thomas had to check out the body of the resurrected Jesus by putting our finger in his side.  All Thomas needed was the offer from Jesus to which he responded by saying, "My Lord and my God!"

After all, some of my best friends and relatives are chronic doubters.  We lovingly put up with one another and I still call them friends.  Nevertheless, I got to thinking this week about the subject of belief.  What is it essentially (and minimally) I believe? 

Now I could take refuge in reciting to you the Apostles' or Nicene Creed, but that would be too easy; recitation is not belief -- even though we say we believe.  So in a minute or two (or I should say, a few hundred words?) what is it I want to say about my belief?

Well, probably something about God, Jesus, the Bible, telling others, and the Holy Spirit...

God.  Within this absolutely magnificent, wondrous, breath-taking, stunning (and sometimes numbing) cosmos, I sense God's presence.  God is the Creator and I am God's creation; a creation in which I am, literally, "God-imprinted."  And each day, the wonder of all this never ceases to amaze me.

Jesus. St Paul said that in Jesus the "fullness of God was pleased to dwell."  When I think about Jesus I see the mighty Creator of the cosmos in flesh and bones and pleased to be here. I  believe I was created to please God and the best way to do that is to try to be more like the God-image Jesus.  Now it is true that I often fail to be like Jesus.  And when it happens I also know that it is because of my tendency to be self-centered (sinful) which breaks my relationship with others as well as with God. 

But there's hope... my stumbling and failing to be more Jesus-like enables me to appreciate what I believe to be God's nature.  If I choose to get up and try again, God is always with me.  Through my stumbling, I have come to see that God is love, kind, compassionate, forgiving, and hopeful with regard to my future.  My belief enables me to see God's action in the world today all around me.  For example, I see it through the many "Saints of God," known and unknown, who have God's light shining in them and projecting out into the world. They amaze, encourage, and humble me.

The Bible.  I value what others through history have said about God in my faith's Holy Scriptures.  I believe the Bible does contain all things necessary for my salvation.  This "Word of God" consists of accounts which have been handed down to me by those who have directly experienced God.  But God's Word is more than the Bible -- it is also Jesus.

Telling others.  I have seen and been the recipient of the benefits of belief in my own life and the lives of those around me.  This causes me to try to practice being a disciple of Jesus and telling others about him.  Belief helps me to get through times of trouble, loss, and my belief helped me come to value the importance of helping, sharing, forgiving, and being forgiven.  It has given meaning and harmony to my life.

While some may disagree, my belief has helped me grow as a person.  I freely admit I am not perfect, far from it, and I am not a Saint, but, nevertheless, I believe I am, day by day, becoming a better person because of my belief -- and I am deeply thankful. 

Because I was baptized and raised as a Christian, following Jesus is my path.  As an Anglican, I love my tradition's ability to listen, accept, and be open to others.  I love the mystery of the Mass and other sacramental rites such as reconciliation and healing.  They empower me and give me strength and, hopefully, wisdom and understanding.

The Holy Spirit.  One of the most difficult things to talk about is the daily presence of God's Holy Spirit in my life.  Perhaps the book, "The Shack" came closest for me in describing the ephemeral Third Person of God's household.  Through the Spirit, God is always with me -- an ever-present help in times of trouble -- and celebration!  I believe what Jesus said about the Spirit, that when he left his Spirit would come to help me live.

But, all in all, belief really means nothing does it?  Rather it is the action, the acts, that flows from one's belief that really matters -- where, as they say, the "rubber hits the road!"

I can talk about belief all day but if I do not love people I am, as St Paul noted, a "resounding gong -- a clanging cymbal."  I must also add that this love pertains to all humankind -- whether they are a Christian, Jew, Buddhist, Hindu, Muslim or non-believer.  Each one of us is part of God's creation and imprinted with God's image -- we are really all one as God is one.

Thinking About These Forty Days

Jesus began his ministry after a forty-day retreat into the wilderness. God sent him there. And when he came out from that retreat he was filled with the power of God's Spirit and began his earthly ministry. Mark tells us,


"Jesus went to Galilee preaching the Message of God: 'Time's up! God's kingdom is here. Change your life and believe the Message."

There is a lesson here for us and for the Church and for all of us who call ourselves "Christian."  The method God prepared Jesus for ministry was through a baptism, a retreat in the wilderness, fasting and struggling with temptation, and receiving the power of God's Holy Spirit as he came out of that wilderness retreat.

When Jesus formed his disciples he told them a couple of important things: they were to GO and TELL and make DISCIPLES. He also told his disciples (not "admirers" but disciples); disciples do what their teacher does, admirers, however, simply like their teacher.

Jesus also told us that there were essentially two things (two commandments) -- to totally LOVE God and totally love the person next to us (the neighbor).

Matthew tells us that Jesus told a story to his disciples which told them what they were to specifically DO in their ministry.

"I was hungry and you gave me no meal (feed the hungry).
I was thirsty and you gave me no drink (give clean water to the thirsty),
I was homeless and you gave me no bed (provide shelter to those discplaced),
I was shivering and you gave me no clothes (provide adequate clothing),
Sick and in prison, and you never visited" (visit and minister to those in jail and in prison and pray for those who are sick).

Now each one of these have not only a physical side, but also a spiritual side as well:

Those who are eat three solid meals a day can still "hunger and thirst for righteousness."

Those who have shelter can be without acceptance in this society because they are social outcasts, or illegal immigrants.

Those who are well-clothed can be without the warmth and comfort of friends and loving relationships.

Those who are healthy and without restrictions in their movements can be emotionally sick and imprisoned in depresssion.

When we change ourselves, conform ourselves to the life and actions of the Teacher, then we can call ourselves Jesus disciples because we will be doing what he asked us to do.

When we say "enough" to churches which have become comfortable, self-absorbed "country clubs" rather than authentic, out-reaching, Christ-practicing communities, then we can say we are the Body of Christ.

But not until then.

So, this Lent, this year, right now, how are we going to be Jesus to the world?

Who will you reach out to this day?

ASH WEDNESDAY

SLOW DOWN!  STOP!  REFLECT!  There are primarily only two Christian days of fasting left -- today and Good Friday.  But do we fast? Ever?  Isn't it difficult to fast in our abundance?  Most of us do not fast -- on this day or any other day.  And when we do fast it is most likely because we are either getting a blood test or doing it for spiritual preparation -- but hardly ever out of circumstance; like not having food to eat.

We in America thrive in our material and nutritional abundance.  Why fast?  I admit that I am not a good "faster."  I get crabby.  Yet when I can control my crabiness, I sense a cleansing and being aware of how important food is.  And that many, many other people in the world will go to bed tonight hungry.

But today is more than fasting.  It is a day for a spiritual check-up.  Historically, Ash Wednesday was the day that new converts started preparing for their baptism on Easter.  It was also a day in which those who were separated from the Church and their faith could be forgiven and restored.  But for every Christian, it was and is a day to repent of our failings and to, once again, renew our faith.

The point of Ash Wednesday is to give all of us an opportunity to get ourselves right with God and each other.  As the Book of Common Prayer (BCP) says, "a time to make a right beginning."

The BCP, in its liturgy for Ash Wednesday, calls us to self-examination, repentance, prayer, fasting, self-denial, and reading and meditating on the Bible.  Yes, today is a day to begin anew and it should begin with our slowing down, being quiet and denying the selves that has enormously grown over the past year; to name a few, self-centeredness, self-indulgence, and selfishness.

In turn, God calls us to growth through the practice of compassion, selflessness, and, simply, being more like Jesus.

The 103rd Psalm is read during this day.  Verses 8-13 (from "The Message," are a lovely reminder of who God is::

God is sheer mercy and grace;

not easily angered, he's rich in love.
He doesn't endlessly nag and scold,
nor hold grudges forever.
He doesn't treat us as our sins deserve,
nor pay us back in full for our wrongs.
As high as heaven is over the earth,
so strong is his love to those who fear him.
And as far as sunrise is from sunset,
he has separated us from our sins.
As parents feel for their children,
God feels for those who fear him.

A Year to Live

Buddhist Steven Levine, in the last chapter of his book, "A Year to Live" (Three Rivers Press, 1997), writes the following about contemplating his own death:

"And on the day before the last, in the midst of the enormous lullaby, I thought to myself, 'We should only be so lucky as to die in this incredible spaciousness and peace.'  Then, turning toward the mystery, I let go into the floating world, and following my heart into the luminous unknown, the body light as a feather, a sense of ease pervading as I felt myself borne into the vastness of original being, knowing that love was the only rational act of a lifetime."

Certain words of this meditation jump out at me -- "turning toward the mystery," "the luminous unknown," "the vastness of orignal being," and love as the only rational act of our lives.  I savor these words, taste them, turn them over in my mind and burying them in my heart...

It is not only my wife, Sabine, that is dying every day, it is me -- and each one of us -- only the rate varies.

But are we ready?  Ready as the Native American warriors who said before a battle, "Today is a good day to die!"

Can we make the same declaration with a clear mind and conscience?  IS today a good day to die and if it is not, why not?

What must we do to declare today as a good day to die?  Then, let's go right now and DO it!