Moving into and through Grief

It is now 16 days since my son, Matt, died.  What sustains me? How am I processing this enormous grief? It is a three-step process for me – Praying, Processing, Proceeding. It is an on-going process and not sequential. I pray. I am covered in prayer by my friends. I process. What am I feeling? I give it voice (through these blogs). I talk and I weep. Through prayer and processing, I move forward – the step forward into life not holding on the past but also looking forward to the future. From great evil, great pain and despair, God can make good come of it. I know this to be true.

And I also find sustenance in God’s Word; especially Paul’s Letter to the Romans:

“I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us… We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time… But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has?... In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express… And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him… What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us?...


“Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?... For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 8:21 ff).

This is what sustains me.

I hold God to his promises… I pray. I process. I proceed.