Gratitude and Helpfulness

We tried to practice gratitude and helpfulness in our life together. Gratitude is the glue that holds a loving relationship together. We often feel grateful, but it is important to speak and act on that important feeling. Think how powerful this statement is: “I am so grateful; thankful for you in my life. I delight in you!” During tough times, Sabine would say, “David, what can I do to make your day easier?” That’s being helpful during a time of difficulty. Gratitude and being helpful can be practiced in so many ways.

In my recovery, I stumbled upon many of our joint birthday and Valentine’s cards we exchanged over the years. They are filled with appreciation and name the things she loved about me. I never felt unloved in this four-decade relationship.

As some of you know, with the fun-filled and active help of her family, I kidnapped her and took her from Minnesota to South Dakota which permitted same day marriages! 

And we lasted 40 years!

The abduction off the streets of Northfield. MN (with me in costume — cape and beret) on a cold winter day, December 29 1980

I found the following handwritten note from Sabine in my dresser drawer yesterday morning. It was written after the pandemic began. 

______________________________________

I am grateful for…

1. YOU — because you are handsome, smart, strong, a good provider, witty, fun, amazing supporter, share most of my values, are loved by many people — and too many other things to write!

1. 
   

   2. HAVING KIDS (and an extended family) — they live away from us and we raised them to be independent of us and they are all different from us.

   
   

2. PARENTS — that they all are dead during what would have been a stressful time (during this time of pandemic).

   
   

3. THE FARM — it has never looked better and it is everything I ever wanted that I didn’t know I wanted.

   
   

4. THE PANDEMIC — it has opened my eyes.

   
   

5. CANCER — keeps me humble and has changed my priorities.

   
   

6. ST. PETER’S — because I think of other people and I give some to others.

   
   

7. ALL THE MEMORIES — like trips around our country, international trave, all the things we did at the church in Portage (St. John the Baptist); parties, parades, and friendships.

   
   

8. TO BE HERE — STILL ALIVE!

   
   

9. PEOPLE — having others who are walking this walk with me (Tony and Darlene, the Schaafs, Jeff and Bonnie, our dog Mocha, Kathy and Andy, Ted and Barb, my siblings, Rainer and Barbara, and many others).

   
   

   _______________________________

   
   

   I am blessed beyond my highest expectations in this life to have had her as my best friend, partner, lover, mentor and muse!