Ambushed

 

After suffering a major loss, grief sometimes feels like you are being stalked and periodically ambushed by a wild beast; an animal over which you have no control.

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“I’m feeling better”

I confidently reveal

“I’m getting through this”

Then “a day at a time”

I boast

as now as a

month or more 

has passed

routinely

scheduling a

doctor’s

appointment

i break down

sobbing

gasping

when I simply 

say

“my wife died in 

december”

sadly she replies

“i’m so sorry”

i struggle to

reel in my emotions

i make the appointment

end our conversation

again

everything explodes

lets loose

my dog mocha

gets off the

couch

comes to me and 

sadly 

knowingly 

nuzzles me

until

i stop 

washed out

ambushed again.